Pamela Anderson’s House in the Early Aughts is the Epitome of '90s Cancer Aesthetic

I’ve always felt an odd kinship with Pamela Anderson. Blame it on the fact that we’re both Cancers and every ‘90s horoscope inevitably touted her pouty lips and luscious locks as the perfect beauty aspirations for my sign, but she’s always felt like someone I could relate to, despite all evidence to the contrary.

This fascination was reignited last week with the premiere of Hulu’s Pam and Tommy which sent me spiraling down a rabbit hole of 90’s Pamela content online. Yesterday, I stumbled across a video I’d seen, but which never fails to give my inner astro-freak a little chuckle. It’s an episode of MTV’s Cribs from the early aughts in which Pamela is peak ‘90s Cancer archetype.

Not sure what that means? Allow me to explain by breaking down the ways in which classic Cancer qualities play out in every aspect of Pamela’s over-the-top femme decor.

Vintage Chandeliers, Depression Glass, & Antiques Galore

Cancers are known for their sentimentality and love of old things. Case in point: until I sold all of my furniture and moved across the country, every item in my home was either a family hand-me-down or a vintage item purchased secondhand. The more history and warmth something has, the more likely a Cancer is to be drawn to it. The fact that Pamela has antique lighting fixtures in every room, a dining room wall filled with depression glass, and an antique bed frame (French, no less), shows just how much her Cancerian love of old things has bled into her decor.

Bouquets of Roses, Oil Paintings of Flowers, and Floral Fabric Everywhere

Every ‘90s style-scope I ever read involved a floral dress recommendation for Cancers. Crabs are the romantics of the zodiac, after all. Plus, it was the ‘90s and floral prints were in. Pamela may be giving this tour in the early aughts but you can clearly see the influence of the decade in which she made her fame. Not only are her tablecloths and curtains made from floral fabric, but she has no less than 23 vases filled with rose blossoms throughout her property (yes, I counted). You can almost smell the fragrance wafting off the video screen.

Family, Food, and Photographs

Her dining room may be used for storage, but Pamela’s kitchen is clearly used for nurturing loved ones like a proper Cancer is want to do. Cancers are the mothers of the zodiac so it’s no surprise that Pamela thrives on playing homemaker. She keeps the kitchen clear of clutter except for artwork from her kids and prioritizes sharing meals together as a family at the kitchen table. Cancers are ruled by the belly (and breast, but hey, too obvious) so food is important to their health and also how they show their love. This love for family cascades out of the kitchen and into the rest of the house through the many, many photographs Pamela’s taken of her children and put up on every wall.

An Outdoor Bath House

Cancers are cardinal water signs so it’s no surprise that Pamela not only lives near the ocean, but chose to install an outdoor bathtub when she realized the house came with only showers. “I can’t live without a bath,” she says, and frankly I agree. Water is cleansing for all signs, but particularly those from the element of water. Personally, I have a bath every night if possible. It’s the only thing that truly resets my energy. Had I Pam’s decorating budget, I too would erect a backyard sanctuary to take baths under the stars.

BONUS: Wicker & White for Spite

Ok, yes, wicker furniture (for whatever reason) was very big in the ‘90s and having it in all shades of white fits the girly Cancer aesthetic perfectly, but my favorite part about this decor choice is Pam’s reasoning behind it..

“It seems that men in my past have always hated wicker, hated white, so I did this house out of spite.”

It is JUST like a Cancer to hold a grudge for the smallest of slights and remember it for the rest of their life. Subtle pettiness with a sweet smile to cover up is a classic crab side step and Pam has done it in a heightened ‘90s style.